I don’t know what I’m doing.
When will I pull my life together?
But really, does anyone ever?
Does anyone know what they’re doing?
I used to tell myself
at least we’re all trying
but my dad used to tell me
that trying is lying
you either do, or you don’t.
Now, I see what he meant.
Just because I don’t have it together
doesn’t mean I won’t have it together soon.
It won’t happen with me trying,
it’ll happen when I do.
Life has been weird lately, babes. But hey, when is life ever normal, right? I miss writing every day so so SO much, but with working customer service I’ve just found myself feeling too drained after work to find it in me to make new words!
That’s an excuse. I could wake up early and write before work, I could write on my breaks, it’s only a part time job so I could definitely find time to write if I really wanted. Let’s face it, doing a job that you hate can take a lot of mental and emotional effort; it’s straight up exhausting! And when that job is with a corporation that directly opposes your political and ideological standing? Don’t even get me started!
Luckily, I’ll be starting a second job next week, and was just offered a third job earlier today! Both of which are higher paying! Woohoo!
I’d been trying to find a better job ever since getting hired at Goodwill. Part-time minimum wage just is not enough pay for someone to live on, not to mention how corporate treats it’s workers. Before I got hired there, I had been trying to find a job for months. I was trying, and trying, and trying!
And then, I realized something.
These are probably words that most young people don’t want to say, but my dad was right. The week I stopped trying to get a new job and said to myself “fuck this, I’m done trying, I will get a new job soon!” was the week I got the interview for Dunkin Donuts, and the week I got hired there too!
Maybe it’s coincidence. But, but, BUT maybe it isn’t. All I’m saying is, it’s worth a shot.
Trying is lying, you either do or you don’t.
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