craving

You're warm, deep, and sweet
Comforting in your familiarity
So why do you give me
Anxiety?
Oh, the humanity!
To love something
That leaves me feeling
So poorly
Crashing
Shaking
Craving
I want you, I need you!
Good God, I love you!
My morning coffee!

I’m thankful for this Washington weather. It’s 8am and 40°F right now. I can drink a couple cups of coffee and be comfortable in only a light jacket. Thanks, coffee!

Back home, my mom’s jeep is frozen shut. There was a blizzard last night, apparently. I almost miss it, having a snowy Christmas! But I miss my family more.

On my way to work this morning, I got to see some snow! It was 4:45am, and there was a patch of snow on the devil strip around 5 x 2 inches. Everything else was mud and green, glittering with frost.

It may not be snowy here, but I appreciate the way everything sparkles in the morning. It’s especially pretty after I’ve had my coffee!

It’s taught me moderation, the frost, and being away from home. Were I back in Akron, I could have as many cups of coffee as I’d want and feel fine because it’s so cold there. And when the anxiety hits from too much caffeine? My family would comfort me.

But here? Too much coffee makes me sweaty, it’s too warm here for more than 2 cups. There’s nobody out here to comfort me, either, save for myself. And I think that that’s good for me.

In fact, I know it is!


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